but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
