I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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