yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
