I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
