Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
