Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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