so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize