he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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