Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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