Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The best revenge is premature balding
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I have fence marks all over my body
i believe in u and ur pee
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
