Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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