We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
