Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
