I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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