belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
