i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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