Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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