Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
