When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
