just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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