She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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