Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
