Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Someone signed my nipple.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
