Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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