is your mom at the bar?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
