no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
