It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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