Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
