im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
