Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
