i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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