everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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