what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
