I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
