Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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