Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
