Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
