your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
