It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
COCAINE IS GR8
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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