so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
