dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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