marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
