I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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