Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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