I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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