At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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