We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
