Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
