she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
