no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
