Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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