i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
a search helicopter?!
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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