running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
