As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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